If you click
HERE, you will be taken to a page on the Disney website that lists your character dining options. For a family with two older boys, my top choices would be Chef Mickey's in the Contemporary, Tusker House in the Animal Kingdom, or the Garden Grill at Epcot. These are all very gender-neutral experiences that don't skew to any particular age group.
Since you are first time visitors, I strongly suggest that you get the free Disney planning DVD. You can order this
HERE. You should also buy (or take out from the library) several Disney guidebooks, Panelist Bret does a great job of describing some of his favorites in the video you can find
HERE (look for the video called 'Guidebooks." I have other tips for first time visitor
HERE.
Other great sources of information are the websites allearsnet.com and wdwinfo.com, and the many Disney-related podcasts you can find on iTunes.
Good luck with your planning.