Rhonda,
Of the three dinner shows, I would recommend
Hoop Dee Doo Musical Review first. I think it is the most enjoyable overall experience for a range of ages, including taking in the food quality. If that does not appeal, then I would say that my second recommendation to you would be the
Spirit of Aloha Dinner Show. The food is not as good (it not bad, per se, just not as good as the first suggestion), but the outdoor setting and show might again be better in appealing to both the 8 and 10 year olds, as well as the 16 year old. The third choice,
Mickey's Backyard BBQ, is probably not going to rate well for your 16 year old, so I would put it in a distant third.
So let's say that you just don't see any of these fitting the bill, or you can't get a reservation to match your schedule? I think
Whispering Canyon Cafe might be a good alternative for a fun dinner that is entertaining, and with food that is good. It is something that is more broadly appealing than a character meal as well. It is also a sight easier on your budget than the other three.
Write me back if you have any follow-up questions!
Have a magical (and delicious) vacation!