Hi Maria,
First time trips are fun and can be overwhelming! Here is my first piece of advice-breathe!
Without knowing how many days you are going, I will give you some general starting points. You can then ask us more specific questions.
I would just purchase a Magic Your Way Ticket. I would not add the Park Hopper option and focus only on one park a day. This will allow you to really explore the park you are touring for the day. You can enjoy the extra pixie dust such as impromptu entertainment or ride your favorite attractions more than once.
Next, if your boys know, look at the website or order the Disney Planning DVD and ask them for their thoughts. Have them pick 3 things each to do each day of your trip and then make sure those things happen.
As for character dining, it is a great way to see a character and eat a meal. My family always eats a sit down meal so we can get a sense of how much longer we can tour. Our favorite character meals are
Tusker House for breakfast and
Crystal Palace anytime. I would do only one character meal for your trip and skip the dinner shows this trip because everything is new to you.
Finally, stick to your children's schedule. This will keep them happy and you happy as well.
Wishing you a magical first trip!
Beth