I'm with you on not visiting a park after a long travel day, Nancy! We made that mistake once, and ended up being way to tired to enjoy it. After checking in to our resort, it is our new "tradition" to explore the resort and then head straight to Downtown Disney for some shopping and dinner.
You mentioned Fort Wilderness. Your family might enjoy the
Hoop De Doo Review, a fun dinner show at Fort Wilderness. After dinner, you could venture over to
Chip and Dale's Campfire Singalong, which is followed by an outdoor Disney movie. The Whispering Canyon Cafe is a must visit for us each trip. It's located in the Wilderness Lodge, but be forewarned, it's noisy, with tons of fun goings on for the kids. After dinner, you can enjoy the electric water pageant from either beach.