Hi Christina,
I totally understand where you're coming from & I want to assure you that Disney is a great place to travel with kids with all types of special needs.
If you're looking to stay on Disney Property, there are handicapped accessible rooms at most all of the resorts. It sounds like you need more space & may need more than a refrigerator in your room. The All Star Music Resort has family suites but they only have a microwave, refrigerator & coffee maker but no areas to cook in. If you want an area to cook in you may want to look into a 1 or 2 bedroom Villa which has a fully equipped kitchen & washer/dryer. You may be more comfortable someplace like this since it feels more like home.
There is a website
www.allears.net which gives details of all the resorts at Disney. Its an unofficial site but they do an awesome job of laying it all out in one place. Once you get to the site, click on "Walt Disney World" then "Accommodations". They also give some off site accommodation information.
I've answered another question that I think you might find helpful - click
here. Be sure to bring your son's medical documentation to keep in your room just in case there are any medical emergencies (let's think positive that there won't be any need for the documentation but I think its better to have it & not need it instead of needing it & not having it). There are great medical facilities in the Orlando area. I'd also make sure he has some sort of Medical Alert ID.
Remember to relax & breathe. Depending on your son's abilities, you may not get to do everything on your trip but you can make the most of everything you do. Please let me know if you have other questions. Wishing you many magical memories :-) Allison