Wow Amanda, that's a lot of questions! Hope I can help. Okay, let's get started with your first question: will you be able to see Illuminations after an 8pm reservation at Coral Reef. Unfortunately, it's not looking good. You should plan on the meal lasting about an hour. If you have to wait even ten minutes to be seated (after your reservation time) you won't be ready to leave the restaurant until after 9:00, which also happens to be when Illuminations starts. There is also a lengthy walk between Coral Reef and the World Showcase lagoon. The viewing area closest to the Future World section of Epcot has, in my experience, always been very crowded, so you'll have even further to walk to find a nice viewing spot. Any chance you could fit Illuminations into your itinerary a different night?
As for seeing the show from Port Orleans French Quarter, I'm afraid that's another no. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news here.
Will any of the moms panelists be in Disney during your dates? I will. In fact I'll be at Epcot on 9/20. Maybe we'll run into each other!
As of right now, Disney does not show that Lights, Motors, Action! is scheduled for refurbishment in September. That's not to say, however, that they won't update the
calendar later with that information. The best advice I can give you is to continue to check back as your vacation dates approach.
Phew. I think I covered everything! Hope I helped. :)