Hi Mary,
As a mom with 3 sons, I certainly understand your dilemma! When our boys were younger, they enjoyed eating with Pooh and his buddies at the Crystal Palace at the Magic Kingdom. As they grew older, they had fun with Mickey and his gang at Chef Mickey's at the Contemporary Resort, The Garden Grill at Epcot (the restaurant actually rotates), and Cape May Cafe at the Beach Club to be with Goofy, Chip and Dale, and Pluto in beach wear. Another favorite is eating with Lilo and Stitch at 'ohanas at the Polynesian resort.
Interestingly, they still enjoy dinners at the Cinderella's Royal Table. At dinner, the princesses have all left; only the fairy godmother is left behind, and they don't mind visiting with her. The castle's interior is not a celebration of pink but rather filled with dark wood, deep colors, and coat of arms hanging about the ceiling. It really feels like the inside of a castle, especially once we climb up the winding stone stairs. Boys also receive a small toy sword!
As for Toy Story, the closest option is Pizza Planet at Disney's Hollywood Studios. While there aren't any characters, it does feel a bit like the restaurant from the movie, not to mention the video games that my guys always have fun playing.