Hi Elinore,
Welcome to the Disney Parks Moms Panel! I think everyone who visits the Magic Kingdom park dreams of dining in Cinderella's Castle. When you dine at
Cinderella's Royal Table with children younger than three, it is expected they will share your meal. From my own experience, when my friend's daughter was two they brought her a small plate with two french toast sticks. She also ate some of the pastries shared by the table and had a few bites of my breakfast. To be honest, she was so distracted by the princesses that it was difficult to get her to eat!
My friend's daughter did receive a wand. I haven't heard of anyone being refused a wand, but if you're concerned, you might want to ask when you check in for your reservation. Wands and swords aren't mentioned in the reservation, so they are not guaranteed.
Please let me know if you have any other questions I can help you with!
Wishing you a magical vacation with your little prince and princess,
Amy H.