Advanced planning is an advantage for making the most of your first trip. (I have limited space so ask more questions if I don’t touch on everything, okay?)
Character meals will depend on menu and character preferences. Buffet meals work well for picky eaters. Family-style meals are more relaxing. Some meals are very loud so if your son has sensory issues, look at locations that are quieter. For example, Chef Mickey’s is sensory overload with music, characters, the monorail traveling through and high ceilings. The Cape May Café breakfast is calmer.
For a moderate resort, I would suggest the Port Orleans French Quarter. It is quaint, has a cute pool and only one bus stop.
There are some shows that are loud so if needed, you may want to avoid the Indiana Jones and Extreme Stunt shows at Hollywood Studios, for example. Our son was born premature and it was years before he would even walk inside an arcade due to the noise. The Pocahontas show at Animal Kingdom is great for young children.
Yes, you can get
married in Walt Disney World (WDW). See the attached link for more information and order a free planning kit. There are delightful ways to create a ceremony to include the whole family. The planners will help with everything.
I think your own stroller is nice to have at the end of the day when waiting for Disney transportation or walking to the parking lot. I think your younger child will definitely need one since there is so much walking in WDW. Also it is a good place for any child to feel secure if situations become overwhelming. Our son had stamina issues, we used his stroller until he was 6, but I would have kept using it longer if needed.
Utilize the Child Care Centers if your son needs some quiet time. There are chairs and televisions in a quiet environment. Stop at City Hall and inquire about a Guest Assistance Card.
Best wishes!