Hi Michael!
One of the great things about dining in Walt Disney World is that they EXPECT you to bring your kids, and they also know that these kids will often be "prone to fussiness" when they are hot, tired, and wanting to get back to the amazing attractions and characters?!
For your wife's birthday, since it falls on your first day of the trip, I would suggest something that would get the entire family excited AND meet her wishes for a fabulous, entertaining meal - Character Dining!
If you are not planning to enter a Park that day, there are still many options, including the following:
Chef Mickey's at the Contemporary Resort,
1900 Park Fare at the Grand Floridian Resort,
Cape May Cafe at the Beach Club Resort, and
'Ohana at the Polynesian Resort. These are wonderful experiences for the entire family - Character Dining isn't just for kids! And, the food is excellent!
Cap off the meal by strolling outside one of the amazing Resorts to take in a fireworks show!
For other ideas, visit this link:
Customize Your Celebration.
Hope this helps!