Hi Amy!
Congratulations on your upcoming first trip! Be sure to stop at Guest Relations to pick up some free, "first time" buttons and wear them proudly! If your princess' special needs prevent her from being able to wait in line for prolonged periods, or require an accessible entrance to attractions, you may want to request a Guest Assistance Card at Guest Relations to facilitate a smoother trip.
I can certainly appreciate your need for a night out with your hubby on vacation. The Kid's Clubs can accommodate some special needs, provided that the children are four years old and potty trained (this is a requirement for all children who use the clubs). Since your youngest is three, however, a better options for your family would be the in-room babysitting service Kid's Nite Out. A CPR and First-Aide certified sitter will come to your room with a small craft or activity and watch your kids while you hit the town. Kid's Nite Out can accommodate some special needs as well, and, they suggest that you contact them directly at (407) 828-0920 (seven days a week from 8am-9pm) to discuss your requirements specifically. The feedback on Kids' Nite Out is very positive from many guests.
Many families who travel to Disney with children with special needs report that it is a very "user friendly" vacation destination. I have attached a link (click
HERE) for the site for guests with disabilities in case you have additional questions. I hope your family has a magical trip!
Tanya