Ahoy, Jillian!
You sound like you're ready for a real vacation... with a good mix of time with your kids - and some time without them. I'm on that same wave length with you, and you'll be glad to know that you can absolutely get this type of vacation when you cruise with Disney Cruise Line.
With a bit of advanced coaching and lots of reminders to make good choices, you can absolutely have civilized children let loose onboard :-). This means your kids can keep a wave phone with them and if you think they are responsible enough, you can even opt for them to check themselves in and out of the youth club. I suggest that you 'test the waters' by allowing them this special freedom for a few hours to start with though. My kids have enjoyed this freedom - and they have learned to take care of this huge responsibility... they love it! They go to movies on their own or with their friends, spend some time at the arcade, or they can explore the ship at their own pace. They are reminded to be aware of their surroundings and people around them all the time - and no one is allowed to enter anyone else's stateroom.
When my kids were this age, we always had plans lined up the night before. it's a great way for them to learn to plan their day - and a way for you to know where they'll be. If they have a wave phone, it makes it easier to check on them throughout the day. If they are lucky to have a smart phone, you can download the Disney Cruise Line Personal
Navigator App and use the free text messaging feature. Use of the App is free, just follow the online instructions.
If they stay together, it will be much easier and they'll also feel more comfortable with each other as they go on their adventure onboard. I hope this helps, Jillian.
Wishing you a magical vacation with Captain Mickey!
~ Dolly